There is no ideal partner

I don't know when I started to do this or why I started to do it.

Now, when I'm reading Lacan (or the writing of Lacanians), and I encounter the phrase "There is no such thing as a sexual relationship" or "the sexual non-rapport," I do a sort of replacement. The replacement looks like this.

There is no such thing as a harmonious sexual relationship

Reading the work of Thomas Svolos made me realize that the word "rapport" is a word that implies a sort of harmony, a lack of tension.

This led to my replacement.

• "There is no such thing as sexual relationship/ sexual rapport" with
• "There is no such thing as a harmonious sexual relationship."

There is no ideal partner

Later, I read something that I can't remember or track down again. It said something about the lack of an ideal partner. After reading this (whatever it was), I started to replace

• "There is no such thing as a sexual relationship" or
• "the sexual non-rapport,"

with the phrase,

• "There is no such thing as an ideal partner," or
• "There is no ideal partner," or
• "The ideal partner does not exist."

Clinical Implications

I think that many people who seek treatment from a psychoanalyst or psychotherapist do so with the (unconscious?) belief that the ideal partner does exist. This ideal partner could be another person, but it does not need to be. It could be something far more abstract, such as "truth" or "purpose."

Sometimes, I think people see identity as this ideal partner. (I think this happens a lot today.)

The frustration/suffering the patient brings is because they believe this ideal partner does exist and that they just need to find or create it.

Psychoanalytic treatment, when it works, can help a person realize that this ideal partner, whatever form it takes, is a fantasy/fiction, that it is something that does not exist.

Fin

I find this to be helpful.